Letter to the book-burners

Dear Wearside Women in Need,

I am dismayed by the article that appeared on the BBC website today, describing how your charity plans to burn copies of Fifty Shades of Grey.

I am not planning to read Fifty Shades of Grey, and I agree that the character of Edward Grey is a stalker and potentially abusive. (Also, it is a very badly written book.)

However, Edward Grey is not abusive because he is into BDSM. He is abusive because he is a stalker who denies Anastasia's autonomy and consistently ignores her boundaries.

The book does not describe BDSM as it is practised by the majority of the BDSM community. BDSM practitioners generally abide by the ethos of "safe, sane and consensual".

There may be abusers who try to hide in the BDSM community, but they are no more numerous than abusers who engage in vanilla sex.

BDSM is not abuse. Please do not conflate the two.

May I refer you to a couple of articles and books which may help to clarify the difference for you:

• "A kink in the process" by Su Connan, in Therapy Today
• "Fifty Shades of Grr" by Adele Haze
• "The SM feminist" by Clarisse Thorn 

Furthermore, book-burning is what fundamentalists do. It is profoundly against democracy and the free dissemination of ideas. I do not like Fifty Shades of Grey because it is a gross distortion of BDSM, but at least it has enabled a conversation in the public square about what BDSM is actually about.

You can change

You know, some people become homophobic because of their upbringing. Perhaps they did not have the right parental role-modelling, so instead of turning into a normal balanced human being, they became homophobic.

Homophobia is a disease and requires our compassion and understanding. We should love the sinner and hate the sin. All you need to do is embrace diversity and you can be made whole.

Perhaps homophobes received insufficient nurture from their mothers, or guidance from their fathers, or did not have a positive LGBT role model in their lives.

God doesn't want you to be homophobic. She thinks homophobes are not part of Her divine plan for creation. In fact, God created everyone equal, and just wants you to have a fabulous time and be nice to people for a change. She created love in all its glorious forms so everyone could have a nice time - so quit kvetching and love thy neighbour!

Studies have shown that many homophobic people have experienced same-sex desire themselves, but are just not ready to admit it.

So there is a cure for homophobia.

Come out of the closet and be fabulous with the rest of us!

Klein Test

This is a much more subtle measure than the Kinsey Scale, though it is based on the Kinsey Scale. Interesting. It asks questions about past, present and ideal sexual preferences, and whom you like to socialise with.

Is there a distinctly queer spirituality?

A very exciting thing happened this morning: my copy of Contemporary Christianity and LGBT Sexualities arrived, to which I contributed a chapter comparing LGBT Pagan and Christian spiritualities, to see if there is a distinctly queer spirituality (I concluded that there is, not for any essentialist reasons, but because it is rooted in LGBT experiences). This is my first proper academic publication (yay!)

• Introduction: saints and sinners: contemporary Christianity and LGTB sexualities, Stephen Hunt
• The gift (?) that dare not speak its name: exploring the influence of sexuality on the professional performances of gay male Anglican clergy, Michael Keenan
• Between subordination and sympathy: evangelical Christians, masculinity and gay sexuality, Kristin Aune
• Common pathways, different lives: comparing the ''coming out'' narratives of Catholic nuns and lesbians in Poland, Marta Trzebiatowska
• Bisexual Christians: the life-stories of a marginalised community, Alex Toft
• Transgendering Christianity: gender-variant Christians as visionaries, Andrew Kam-Tuck Yip and Michael Keenan
• Human rights and moral wrongs: the Christians ''gay debate'' in the secular sphere, Stephen Hunt
• Christians and gays in Northern Ireland: how the ethno-religious context has shaped Christian anti-gay and pro-gay activism, Richard O'Leary
• Is it meaningful to speak of ''queer spirituality''? An examination of queer and LGBT imagery and themes in contemporary paganism and Christianity, Yvonne Aburrow
• Trends in spiritual direction for LGBT people, Derek Jay

The book is a collection of papers from the British Sociological Association Sociology of Religion Study Group November Study Day 2007 on Religion, Spirituality and Gay Sexuality.

God is not your bitch

This just in: It is hugely unlikely God cares much about your sex life

by Mark Morford

Absolutely awesome article by a guy at the San Francisco Chronicle. Now here is a writer who really does get what religion should be about.

He writes:

I, for one, am utterly delighted at how Sanford has effortlessly reduced the grand concept of timeless, universal divine metaconsciousness down to a bit of a tool, essentially making God his own personal knave. What a fantastic conceit! What glorious gall! We should all try that someday.

In fact, most major religions encourage exactly that. I find I am in a constant swoon of giddy amazement at this universal phenomenon, the fabulous, hubris-loaded idea that God is not actually an unfathomable river of cosmic energy to be supped from like liquid light, while you still take complete responsibility for your own life and choices. Nor is God simply the idea of universal love and compassion, coursing through all things at all times everywhere. How silly to think.

No, God is, apparently, actually far more like some sort of heavyset, hectoring grandmother who reads your email and pokes through your underwear drawer and hates your girlfriend and is, for the most part, very, very disappointed in you. Great!

Really, it almost does not matter in which God you believe, what sect or major denomination. Nearly all are of the same idea, offer up the same unquestionable truth: Of course God cares what you do, who you screw, upon which sliver of dust-choked holy land you live, how high you raise your flag and which statue you kneel before. This is the greatest wonder of all: In the impossible vastness of time and space, God cares most desperately, most fanatically about this particular swirling blue dot of inconsequential dust we call home. Hey, we invented God, right? We can do with Him whatever we want.

Exactly. Religion should be about connecting with the Great All through whatever set of symbols you find most resonant, and trying to behave considerately towards other people, and hopefully having a few peak experiences along the way.

LGBT in HE

A new report by the Equality Challenge Unit says that the higher education sector needs to address sexual orientation and trans-status discrimination.

Based on a survey of 4205 staff and students in England, Wales and Northern Ireland the research, led by Professor Gill Valentine at the University of Leeds, found that institutions provide a positive space for LGBT students.

However, there are still high levels of homophobia and discrimination on campus, a factor that contributes to 20% of LGB and 28.5% of trans students suspending their studies. 33.8% of LGB staff and 41% of trans staff who took part in the research have experienced discrimination and abuse from colleagues.

So it seems that higher education is a relatively safe place to be, but not completely safe.

sexual ethics

Just spotted this interesting chart of different religions' attitudes to sexual ethics in 1994. Well, if it was a choice between those seven, I'd rather be a Buddhist. Since they omitted Paganism, here's a summary:

Pagan attitudes to....
Sex between consenting teenagers	OK as long as they use contraception
Sex between an adult and a teenager	Unacceptable (difference of power)
Premarital sex	Blessed ("All acts of love and pleasure are My rituals")
Extramarital sex	Only if both parties to the marriage agree to it
Divorce	It's a fact of life (and is provided for in the wording of the handfasting ceremony)
Masturbation	Fine
Abortion	Most Pagans are pro-choice
Contraceptives	Encouraged
Married clergy	Married, single, we're not fussy
Female clergy	Yay! Priestesses are everywhere
Homosexual orientation	Blessed (fabulous actually)
Homosexual sex acts	Blessed ("All acts of love and pleasure are My rituals")
Same-sex weddings	Marvellous
Ordination of homosexuals	Lovely (you just try and stop 'em)

It would be interesting to know if there was any difference between different Pagan traditions on any of these issues.